Written by AFL Online on 22nd May 2009
Well folks it’s the one year anniversary of Geelong’s last home and away defeat and to celebrate the occasion Jason Wackermanis hasn’t shut his oversized gob all week. With Mooney, Dasher and Shazza all out and Junior and Chappy underdone I might be a bit worried about the Doggies this week but as soon as the lip starts we normally come out on top. Note to Jason SILENCE IS GOLDEN. So STFU. In other Football news suddenly Carlton are awesome again because they can beat the Collingwood reserves side and Richmond continue to stink because they can’t find their own arse to wipe the shit away. Speaking of which, I can’t tip winners for shit…imagine picking bloody Freo and Collingwood ACK. Anyway, this round is a piece of piss so I’ll get the full card this time for sure.
Geelong vs. Bulldogs The Dome
The Cats play their best footy at the Dome and haven’t lost at the venue since, ironically the Bulldogs rolled us in the first round of the 2007 season. The Dogs are 5-3 and sitting in third spot somehow after not exactly setting the world on fire this season. At full strength and in form the Dogs can make a game of it but the welcome return of Ablett and Chapman more than makes up for Mooney’s absence due to his latest brainfart. Apparently he and North’s Scotty Thompson are mates. I suppose that explains why he tried to take Adam Hunter’s head off at Cat Park a few years ago. The Cats will find a little extra after barely getting out of first gear last week when they trounced the Roos. The Cats have left out Lonergan so are going in small against the Doggies. I reckon the Catters easily by 56 points.
North Melbourne vs. Fremantle The Dome
These two clubs could make history on Saturday by being the first two teams to lose the same match. Both teams are young and inexperienced and rely heavily on a small band of experienced players to carry the day. The Roos often go in top heavy at the Dome with players such as Goldstein, Petrie, Hale and McIntosh all likely to grace the turf. This makes players such as Urquhart, Simpson and the returning Wells very important players in the match because the Dockers like to run. Matty Pavlich looms large over this game as a colossal presence. His ability to influence the contest will…erm…influence the contest. I’m not sure how North can shut him down to be honest and for this reason I’m actually tipping these bunch of numbnuts for the second week in a row. DOH. Yep, it’s Freo by 16 points.
Adelaide vs. Carlton Football Park
This game is another noodle boiler for tipsters with Adelaide not being able to win home games this year and Carlton traditionaly not playing all that well against sides that employ shutdown tactics. Craig will bring out the tried and tested and tedious game plan to try and bore Carlton to death but I reckon this time the Blues will have the answers. The naming of yesterday’s bit player Robert Shirley was a laughable attempt to put some sort of pressure on Chris Judd and I reckon they’ll have just as much fun containing him during the match. With no one to stop the Juddinator and his willing helpers in the midfield, I can’t see Adelaide kicking enough snags to roast the Blues. Carlton by 26 points.
West Coast vs. Collingwood Subi
Even when Collingwood do have a forward line they can’t score goals so your guess is a good as mine when it comes to figuring out how they can manufacture a winning score against the Eagles at Subi this week. I reckon the returning Daniel Kerr will tear the Pies a new one in midfield and the emerging Weagles forwardline will get a few early sausage rolls and gain some real confidence. Once they get a few goals ahead of the Pies the arse will fall out of Collingwood and it won’t be a welcome return to the West for Micky Malthouse who must be starting to see phantom Nathan Buckleys on every street corner at the moment. Woosha said they won’t be giving up and they’ll prove that this week. Eagles to soar with the Pies sore. West Coast by 31 points.
Richmond vs. Essendon The G
Something terrible happened to Essendon last week. They lost a game and gained respect. Such a thing should never happen to a young team. I’m predicting a bit of a let down in this game due to the well known tribulations of the Tigers. Richmond has few bitches in the league at the minute but may just have one in the form of Essendon. True, there is no Richo but the Tiges showed plenty of fight last week not only on the field but behind closed doors as well ha ha. All year they’ve trained well and lost matches so this week they’ll have trained like crap and come out and win. The Essendon fans will get bored sitting around waiting for the game to start because they all got ahead of themselves and caught the first train to the G and they might just be leaving early while they are it. For some strange unexplainable REB’s Rubbish reason, I’m tipping the Tigers to change their stripes and win by 7 points.
Sydney vs. Port The Basketball Court
The Swannies will strangle the life out of the flighty Power on their favourite Basketball Court this week. Port like lots of space as they are bunch of front running girls but the Swans, clinging to respectability simply won’t allow that to happen. You can expect guys like Brett Kirk to tackle Port blokes who are looking over their shoulders with Kornes and Salopek likely to go off crying again and Daniel Motlop to throw a tantrum cos no one will pass him the ball in the fourth row of the seats. Tredders will try to once again carry this bunch of sissies over the line but without the faithful to preen too nobody will care. The Swans to make their move with the Power to put in a shitter. Sydney by 45 points.
St Kilda vs. Brisbane The Dome
Surprise suprise St Kilda at the Dome against a weakened opposition. As we all stand by holding our breath waiting for ‘The Streak II’ to come out on DVD we have to endure these unbearable no-hopers as they attempt their ‘Hawthorn 2008’ impersonation. As for the game it is probably over already. Despite a win against the Tigers in Melbourne last time out the Lions are lambs away and without key defenders Patfull and Merritt are no show against the surging Saints. The Flat Track Bullies will claim another easy scalp as coach Voss will get arrested for robbing Peter to pay Paul as he vainly moves Bradshaw out of the fowardline to plug the holes in an emaciated backline. Not a game to be remembered unless you are a Saint loser. St Kilda by 71 points.
Hawthorn vs. Melbourne The G
How fitting, the Bradbury premiers watching the sun go down on their ‘dynasty’ playing in a twilight football fixture. The Bookies are all having a great laugh posting some decent odds on the Dees and you can just hear the fishing line whirring away as they hook fish after fish. The Demons will tease you all you mad punters and probably do what they’ve specialised in all season…playing well but just finishing up short. On paper, Hawthorn are understrength and the Demons look pretty solid. Jamar has finally returned as has Brad Green and all of a sudden players are once against competing for spots at Demonland. I’ve been impressed with their improvement this year and they are on their way but the reigning *giggle* premiers will play crap all night long and then fatboys Franklin and Dew will dribble a few arsey goals and steal the points away. Hawthorn by 10 points.
Last week: 6
Total: Not telling too embarassing!