Turning for home and it’s Unsociable Hawk ahead by a nose from Back to Back Cat and Dilligent Dog. Ahead of the pack it’s Teflon Swans and Bye Bye Blackbird fighting it out with Four and Twenty Pie, Golden Roo and Bouncing Brissy.

Dropping away is Slippery Saint, Bouyant Blue, Pathetic Port and Richomond. Back in the pack the stragglers are The artist formerly known as West Coast, Bombed out, Fragile Freo and last of all Desperate Demons. LOL. I pick one winner at the TAB and now it’s in the blood! Stand by for the inevitable bogus articles about mid season report cards and hypothetical All Australian Teams..hang on, they’ve already flooded the market.

Picked up seven winners last week as Habib snuck further away from me. I have decided to follow Habib’s kind advice and not complete the rest of REB’s Rubbish until the tipping lockout. Stay tuned sports fans for more absolute Rubbish from the man who is not winning the tipping comp.

Essendon vs. West Coast Telstra Dome

Plenty of pundits are looking at the West Coast midfield and saying ‘no way can the Bombers counter this’ but counter it they have quite succesfully in the past. Yeah, Hirdy won’t be there to rack up his 32 touches this time but neither will Chris Judd. More dammingly for the West Coast there won’t be any Fletcher or Braun to assist this time around either. The Bombers at least have Scotty Lucas and Dustin Fletcher and at times this year they haven’t had those key players. Matty Lloyd is overdue for a big match and tonight could be the night he finally turns back the clock. I can’t have the West Coast away from Subi and Essendon should be able to continue their good record against the Eagles for one more year with a narrow win.

Essendon by 9 points.

Western Bulldogs vs. Brisbane MCG

IMO the Bulldogs at this point in the season are the best team in the competition. A fully fit Brisbane at the Gabba is not far behind but in this match neither of those factors apply. Bradshaw is a massive out and restricts the Lions to 2007 levels in the forward line but they are facing the 2008 Dogs who will be strengthened by the inclusion of gun forward Robert Murphy who returns from his farcical suspension from the week before (take note blood5, this is what happens to the rest of us). The Dogs have made an artform of cleaning up the Brions and with the Gorillas going on the road for the first time in a month, I can’t see Brisbane winning. Get on the Dogs.

Western Bulldogs by 31 points.

Fremantle vs. North Melbourne Subiaco

A lot of you blokes are keen on giving the Docks yet another chance this week despite the fact they are playing one of the gutsiest teams in the comp. Don’t get sucked in by numbnuts Harvey’s comments about Freo being dangerous. They couldn’t cut paper with a machette. Don’t bother with the venue either, the last four matches between Freo and North have been at Subiaco and North has managed to win a majority of those matches. If you want to drop a point in your tipping, get on the Dockers. If you want to remain competitive, select the Roos who welcome back Daniel Wells. Yep, hop into the Roos and prosper. Seriously, the Dockers are shit.

North by 22 points.

Sydney vs. St Kilda SCG

St Kilda are ordinary. And they are even more ordinary at the SCG. Barry Hall returns to the Swannie outfit and we are still hearing the same whiney arse bitch excuses eminating out of Moorabin or Casey fields or wherever those losers base themselves these days. I’ve been saying for months that the Saints play their best football in Summer and after watching them ‘play’ live at the Gabba the other week I am even more convinced that the only way they could win the flag is if 15 clubs folded. Even then they’d find a way to lose. This game will be a great advertisment for Soccer or League though and the league should seriously think about pissing off these two clubs for bringing the game into disrepute and having a perfectly balanced 26 round minor round and a 14 team comp. Prey REB doesn’t get Andy D’s job if you barrack for these two mob of scrubbers. Swans to win but who cares. Next.

Sydney by 33 points.

Adelaide vs. Hawthorn AAMI

Even though Hawthorn’s record at AAMI is not flattering, I firmly believe that Hawthorn acheived the mantle of superiority over the Crows when The Proffesor left Massie on Buddy all day in the finals last season. This advantage could prove difficult for the Crows to regain, especially without the services of their best forward in 2008 Brett Burton. It is one thing to overrun a Richmond side that hasn’t tasted success since I was in high school but it is quite a different matter entirely to knock off the leading team in the comp, even at home. Adelaide’s superior record against the Hawks was achieved through physical superiority, a factor that simply does not exist when assessing Adelaide vs. Hawthorn in 2008. The Crows haven’t beaten anyone decent this season and that will still be the case after this match.

Hawthorn by 17 points.

Geelong vs. Port Cat Park

Port could stage an upset if Geelong mistakenly go to Telstra Dome for this fixture (Geelong have only played 3 games at Geelong this season!) but if they turn up to the right ground expect the mighty Catters to make life difficult for the Power. Geelong will not be keen for history to repeat itself and allow Port to rack up a second straight victory at Geelong. Last time the two sides played Geelong prevailed despite being massively underdone and without a number one ruckman. Ottens has had a couple of games now and he is a massive player when you consider the ruck strength of the Power. Scarlo out does hurt the Cats but with Chad going in half arsed and one handed into contests this makes a soft side even softer. Look out for Joel Selwood to teach Travis Boak and others a few things about hardness. No joy for the Power here.

Geelong by 29 points.

Collingwood vs. Carlton at Der, it’s Collingwood where else would they be playing

Collingwood’s extensive travelling schedule has then sent to the MCG yet again (gotta get em into the top four for $ome reason) and it’s laughs aplenty as Carlton supporters everywhere apparently think they are back because they can play one quarter of football against a side outside the top eight. The Pies showed last week that they can play below thier best and still win. If Carlton play below their best victory is beyond them. The Pies are the better side and as such shouldn’t lose both games against Carlton this season. Carlton are still a bunch of scrubbers and will prove it by not backing up their excellent victory with another good performance this week. Go the Pies and go REB!!

Collingwood by 25 points.

Richmond vs. Melbourne Telstra Dome

Look out for Richo. He will dominate. Melbourne will not. I am delighted that so many are prepared to back the Demons this week. Remember last year my friends (as if I would let you forget!)? Melbourne were looking a lot better than Richmond but it was the Tigers who finally found a way to win. This year Melbourne are shockers and the Tigers are gain trying to find a way to win. What seals it for me is that the Tigers have left out duds like Pettifer and Tivendale. Whenever you see those blokes in the Richmond side you can’t seriously entertain the idea of backing them. Richmond is the way forward! If Richmond play half a game like they did last week that will be enough to beat the Demons who unfortunately, can’t rely on Jim Stynes to actually get a kick for them anymore. No, Melbourne are bottom for a reason. Just don’t tip em. COMPRENDE? Eat em alive Tigers.

Richmond by 20 points.